And so it begins.

Greetings. If you have found your way to this page by accident, I sincerely apologize for wasting your time. Please, go on your way and think no more of this interruption to your ordered lives, lives that are in fact built upon a fallacy.

To whomsoever is still around after the above note, my name is Poe.

This journal is in place to serve as my record, detailing my travels in an attempt to uncover a conspiracy that I fear has been working its' way into the consciousness of the Western world. I am of course talking about the Poe Bicycle conspiracy.

I am sure you will have heard of my namesake, the so-called Master of the Macabre, Edgar Allan Poe. But what you may NOT know is that the man famed for creating many disturbing tales of the paranormal had a facet to his life that was yet darker still.

I aim to prove, through ridiculous sweeping generalisations, uncredited hearsay, fabricated sources and of course, a healthy dash of Google Image Search, that Mr. Poe dedicated a large portion of his life to attempting to derail the development of civilisation, beginning with his early attempts at the sabotage of the most popular recreational transport of the day, the bicycle. Fear not, my dear readers. For while your faint spirits quail, mine will stand strong and unwavering against my (as yet nonexistent) detractors as I lay bare the facts of this most heinous scandal.

Until next time,

WOOOOOOO! WOOOOO! WIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

-Þoe